The De Funis and Schaloum families, this office, the legal profession and the world lost my friend, Marco De Funis, on Wednesday night, January 16, 2002. Marco was 52 years old, two weeks short of his 53rd birthday. Marco had no warning of his death which occurred while running on the indoor track at the Jewish Community Center on Mercer Island, an activity he did several times a week for several years. He had no history of heart problems, no cholesterol or blood pressure problems, no warning at all.
I was honored to give a eulogy at his funeral on Friday, January 18, 2002. Below were my remarks:
There are no adequate words for times like this—for a loss as sudden and unexpected as this. Marco was just here, giving us all the benefit of his love and counsel just moments ago. On Wednesday night he stood in the doorway of my office calming me down as I was waiting for a jury to decide a case I had submitted to them earlier that day. His dear wife Lucia and children Bension and Ariela are still expecting him to walk in the front door of their home. His family, his parents, his friends, his colleagues and clients cannot comprehend this tragic awful loss. It does not seem right for now—these goodbyes should be 40 years from now. Many in this room expected that it would be Marco who would be speaking at our funerals, not us standing in tears before his casket.
Marco loved being a lawyer and so he would appreciate my calling this not a eulogy but rather a closing statement—a final argument.
I have known Marco since he joined Sigma Alpha Mu Fraternity as a freshman at the UW in 1966, more than 35 years ago. We both loved our undergraduate days and the friends we made then. I was involved in recruiting the class of ‘70 into the Sammies and for years displayed in my home that class’s pledge paddle. Even then it was obvious that he intended to make his life meaningful—he took learning seriously, he courted Lucia, he took his Judaism seriously, he became a loyal friend to many.
Marco wanted to be a lawyer since I have known him. Why? Because he had a sense of justice and righteousness. I was in Germany and then Israel as he fought the injustice of being unfairly denied admission to the UW law school. Marco was always grateful to Joe Diamond who fought for his opportunity to practice law. It is here that all of you should know something else about Marco—he fought that battle with a sense of confidence in the American justice system. He did not fall back by trying to portray himself as Hispanic because of his Sephardic roots. He did not fight on any negative racial grounds—in fact, I have never heard him utter a negative thought about any race or heritage, even in jest.
He asked me to go with him to that first day of law school. I was with him when, immediately upon entering Condon Hall, he was called by a second year student a George Wallace racist. The cold shoulder he constantly endured from the school administrators and many students and some of the faculty took its toll on Marco. For the next three years we were in study group together and planned our future together.
Not quite four years after law school, in 1978 we formed a partnership. Although the formal partnership dissolved a couple of years ago, we continued to share our offices and lives since that time. Marco was like a brother to me with all the ups and downs that such a close relationship implies. I was with him more hours than anyone besides Lucia and their children.
Marco sometimes presented a gruff exterior to opposing lawyers. However, as his family and friends, all of you know, that exterior hid a marshmallow heart. He never got rich practicing law because it was hard for him to turn anyone down who needed help. He could not say ‘no’ to those in need. If someone ‘demanded’ he do something, Marco would resist. If you genuinely asked him for help, it was impossible for him to refuse.
This generosity of heart spilled over into other things as well. Marco and Lucia, individually and as a couple fully participated fully in the life of the Jewish community. Marco and Lucia especially realized the importance of Jewish education and supported it with time and money. They especially loved the NW Yeshiva High School, even before they had children.
Marco loved learning and never felt satisfied at what he knew. The entire office would ask him questions and he always seemed to have the answer. The legal updates were circulated to Marco first in the office because he, unlike the rest of us, would read them voraciously. Not only that, he would remember what he read. Jewishly, Marco was constantly digesting volume after volume of Kabala, mysticism. I would argue with him frequently about the validity of the mysticism he was reading. Of the two of us, for now at least, Marco knows who was right because he is among the souls of the righteous who preceded him.
Marco’s untimely death should not be meaningless. We, the ones he left behind to cry, should give his life and his passing meaning by resolving individual and collective self improvement. In the ancient Jewish wisdom literature called the Sayings of the Fathers 2:15 we find that Rabbi Eliezer advised us all: “Repent one day before your death.” None of us know which day is the day before our deaths. Marco did not know. The permanence of life is an illusion. Our own bodies betray us. The forces of nature conspire against us. Personal injury lawyers like Marco are fully aware that the free will and negligence of our fellow man can wreak sudden injury and death. (On September 11 the entire world became more aware that unexpected death and injury can literally fall from the sky). We can learn and understand that we should not leave until a tomorrow that may never come telling those we care about that we love them, to hug spouses and kids, to donate charity today, to not leave self improvement to a retirement that may never come, to apologize to those we have slighted and not wait until it is too late.
Marco himself lived a full life doing what he loved and around the family and friends he loved. I know he only would regret not being there to walk his children down the isle to the marriage canopy, that he will not see his grandchildren, that he and Lucia did not see Israel, and that there will not be a law firm containing the names, DeFunis and DeFunis. Time ran out on my friend.
I cannot believe he is gone. But he was a good man and a good lawyer. I know he will represent us all before the ultimate Judge in whose presence in heaven I know he is.
